If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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