Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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