Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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