Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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