Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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