i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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