I think my vagina is haunted
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
