he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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