She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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