So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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