I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
this just has baby written all over it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
