NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
