She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All I want is dick and wine.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
