Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
