i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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