Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
