I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
