Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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