what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
