Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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