you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
