Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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