Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
