In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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