I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
