Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
