Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
