I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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