my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
