why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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