Nicole vs. Life
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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