STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ketchup is God's man juice
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
