If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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