I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
