If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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