they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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