i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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