We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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