i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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