I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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