He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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