Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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