Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
