I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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