she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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