Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
