Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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