Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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