My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
