Im at strip club and am horny
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
