You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
