it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
