youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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