I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
